English,my secret code and other languages

One of the nicest things about the invention of computers is that they allow you to type. But so do the typewriters, don’t they? We’ll ignore those finer details, for now. What do you think I am? Pedantic? Anyway, this feature of typing works like a miracle for people like me, who have the worst of their times, doodling sentences which the human mind can comprehend. Nothing scares me more than the thought of having to use a pen on the paper. While others might call their work, ‘handwriting’, my display of prowess could at best be linked to the graphical comic strips created by Neanderthal and his friends after a particularly bad day at work.
I still remember when, my English teacher -a person whom I still respect for having gone through my renditions of the chapters taught with a mountain of courage and patience, called me up in front of class and asked me to read aloud my answer sheet. Now, when I wrote my answers, the prospect of ever having to read it again never seemed to have crossed my mind. I know it takes an awful lot of skill to even make out the script of my language, but really I never read my own writings. You shouldn’t either. “What do you think...” I began cautiously. “Not the question, just read the header, at the beginning of your answer sheet” , she moaned. “Mid –term examinations, subject: English”. “Ah “she said,” English is the keyword over there, really, you know”
A realization of such magnificence has dawned upon late on many other gents and ladies, who’ve gone through the ordeal of ever having to go through my paper and each time it has, it has exposed another innovative approach to the whole idea of writing in English. For eg. , did you ever know that a ’g’ which looks very similar to a ‘y’ could actually a ‘b’? And what seems like ‘bodie’ could actually be ‘basic’.
People call me an inconsiderate murderer, a cold-hearted, insensitive mutilator of the English language, but I consider myself to be an artist. An artist’s work has always been subject to interpretations and misinterpretations; they don’t demean the work of an artist but only add another dimension to the understanding.
Typing out on keyboard too has been taking a toll on me, considering the number of spelling mistakes that I make; I’m coming to believe that i must be dsylexic. Uh,isn’t that dyslexic.? Isn’t English a funny language plus hey, what about the freedom of speech?

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